Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Dialogue with Fantasius

Charlie: Oh, Fantasius. What brings you to the dinner party this eve?

Socrates: Welcome, friend of Charles. It's so good that you could join us. We were just discussing the finer points of Hyrulean ideals. I'll say, I sure am glad I fell into that time portal and got to experience the Legend of Zelda. It sure is a great roleplaying game.

Charlie: Agreed.

Fantasius: But sirs! Ye are mistaken. For I can assure that this Zelda is not a roleplaying game. It is not as Final Fantasy is, that most beloved of titles.

Charlie: I would disagree, but certainly you do not err in saying that Final Fantasy is beloved.

Socrates: It is the mark of an educated man to entertain an idea and not accept it. Please, Fantasius, tell us why Zelda is not an RPG.

Fantasius: Very well, but as you often give Charlie at these dinners, allow me as much time as I require to make my case, Socrates.

Socrates: Take as much as you require, friend of the dinner party.

Charlie: I also agree. Please, deliver unto us your argument.

Fantasius: *breaths deeply* If we look at the definition of roleplaying game, we will see that it involves playing a character in a fictional setting. Final Fantasy is an example of this. Final Fantasy games take place in a fictional universe with fictional characters. You play as these characters as you progress through the game.

Fantasius: Indeed, but Final Fantasy also contains a leveling system, which was certainly influenced by the leveling systems of real life roleplaying games. You run around, listening to fantastic music and leveling up your party. This is the hallmark of roleplaying game gameplay. But Zelda, on the other hand, does not have this feature. Therefore, Zelda is not a roleplaying game.

Charlie: I am confounded by this brilliant logic.

Socrates: Confounding, certainly. Brilliant, definitely. But there is just one problem: Zelda, as I understand it, meets the criteria of your initial definition. In fact, many games do.

Charlie: Thanks, Socrates. It's good that you became such a hardcore gamer.

Socrates: It's even better that I didn't have to drink that hemlock!

Fantasius: Lies! Well no True RPG plays like Zelda!

Charlie: What about Zelda II?

Fantasius: No True RPG lacks battle cutscenes!

Charlie: Well, I'm stumped again.

Socrates: Likewise. His logic seems flawless. If only some fallacy from my time covered this matter.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Some Games the Wii VC Needs

Title should be self-explanatory. Let's roll.

Mortal Kombat: Yeah. I don't like it, but what kind of SNES/Sega library lacks it? Better yet, they should hunt down that arcade version for Wiiware.

Killer Instinct: This is the one I want to see. How will the newbie-folk of chatrooms here and there fully understand the importance of breaking combos if they cannot experience a true combo breaker? Also I like the music.

Legacy of the Wizard: Everyone that's a fan of RPGs and/or platformers should try their hand at Legacy of the Wizard. You've got a party that gains gold, items, abilities, and the like, and they're trying to... I forget what they're trying to do. But the point is this is game should be on the VC.

Solstice: It deserves a place alongside the original LoZ in the VC, because it's just as good in some ways. It's like an 8-bit The Wind Waker, in the sense that it's puzzle heavy (though this game is much more difficult. heck I've never finished it).

Dragon Warrior: I was honestly surprised to see the list lacked it.

Rad Racer 2: It's got the radio stations and some good tracks for the NES. It's certainly my favorite racing title off that system, and I've probably played them all. ;)

That RPG... and that other RPG: I forget their names. One's a NES title that's a lot like Final Fantasy except it's not Final Fantasy, and the other one's a SNES title. You're like in an airship or something. It's also not Final Fantasy. Haha!

Link's Awakening/Metroid 2/Every Other Gameboy title the DS lot has access to: I've got both of those games, fortunately, so I'm in luck. But folks shouldn't have to run out and pay Nintendo 300 bucks just to pay them six more bucks. I for one refuse.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Some thoughts about Wii-U!

Check check it, yo. Ok, as Bob Segar might say, I'm just too early for the rolling touchscreens.

Does anyone else feel that this is a remarkably stupid idea? Let's not beat around the bush, either. It's not revolutionizing anything. It's making the situation more complex. I want more of those sorts of games that use ordinary controllers, but yet... I do my love my Zelda.

I have a theory about Nintendo's attempted Sacking of the Video Game Kremlin: They're taking a proactive approach to preventing piracy. Take the Wii as a case in point. It could (and has) been emulated, but it sounds like it's going to require some moneys and know-how up front. Plus, there's the issue of quality. Do they even make PC controls that are as awkward as that nunchuck? If you really want to play the Wii that bad, you'd probably do just as well to spend the 250 bucks and go buy one. It'd be better, easier, and possibly even cheaper.

Anyway, the Wii U takes this habit defying conventions to a new level. How would you even go about replicating the built-in touchscreen on a control? In my mind, it's a strange, unfamiliar, product which will likely suck. But people seem to go for this sort of outside of the box thing. Not for me, alas. I'll stick with Wii, and if necessary, I'll downgrade to N64 or SNES.

Friday, June 3, 2011

An Ode to the Wii Classic Controller

When Wii had grown tired,
of Wii's motion control,
Nintendo was inspired,
by generations of old,

and N64 corollared',
With Gamecube no less!
The Wii Classic Controller

It works from dpad only,
with no pointing or clicks,
Recuse yourself Sony,
With two analogs, it's slick!

Mario, Black Ops, and A Link to the Past,
All from one helm,
Could such joy ever last?
Alas, good friends... whelm...

The buttons are backwards,
for the N64,
Link rolls when he swings,
but could you ask for much more?

The SNES reincarnated,
and it rose up to say:
Step back mutha fuckas!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Otherworld War 3

Yep. If you believe random channelers, it's happening. Read about it here. I'll try to sum up the gist of this startling prophecy and give a few interpretations of my own.

According the the channeler, the Otherworld (the Sid/moors/place where Tuatha De Danann are at) is sort of like the Light World from A Link to the Past. It is geographically identical to our world, but is in much better condition because faeries love the environment. That's right: We live in the Dark World. :P

Anyway, some of the faeries seem to worship the Tuatha De Danann, which is a pretty neat angle on handling the whole issue of whether faeries are faeries or gods. The channeled spirit, Mr. E, indicated that the Unseelie faeries have a different religion. Since we know Mr. E is in some way involved with Danu worship (according to what I read on their forum)... it's probably safe to assume that the unseelies worship the Fomorians. Not a big leap eh?

The unseelie court, alas, wants to exterminate the human race. This is again, indicative of the A Link to the Past rules of the Otherworld. Whenever something happens in one world, it affects the other world (no redundancy intended). So, our destruction of trees and wut-not.. yeah that's harming the unseelies. But don't worry, the Seelies want us to live and return to harmony with nature! Joy. Hence the title, Otherworld War 3. There is war in Otherworld over the fate of the human race!

If the Seelies win and the human race returns to nature and magic.. it appears that our worlds will reconnect as one. "But now you've defeated the evil Ganondorf. His Dark World will vanish..."

Addendum: This whole thing reminds of an environmentalism oriented article I once read about Otherkin. Another thing.. the website's logo is remarkably similar to Otherkin.net's. To be honest, I don't know what the symbol is supposed to symbolize. If anyone knows, by all means elaborate in the comments.